jardMail - Know Pun Intended

jardMail - Know Pun Intended: "# A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired.
# What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway).
# Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
# A backwards poet writes inverse.
# In democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.
# She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but broke it off.
# A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
# If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed.
# With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
# Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A- flat minor.
# When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
# The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
# A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
# You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
# Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.
# He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
# Every calendar's days are numbered.
# A lot of money is tainted. It taint yours and it taint mine.
# A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
# He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
# A plateau is a high form of flattery.
# The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
# Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
# Once you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
# Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.
# When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye.
# Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
# Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
# Acupuncture is a jab well done.
# Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat."